Besties after 30!

When was the last time you made a new friend? Or grabbed an early morning cup of coffee with an old friend? How often do you reach out to old friends, a good morning text, a phone call saying hey, a Facebook post on their wall asking them how are they doing? It's hard keeping in touch with family members let alone friends..... But people make time for the things and people they want to.....

My availability is different then most of my friends so at times it seems a little lonely in my world. Majority of the people I call "friend" I went to high school with and we have a bond that non Dodge HS people wouldn't understand. So I decided to create an ad on Craigslist in the platonic section seeking out friends.... This may sound desperate to you but for someone who barely goes anywhere where else would I meet someone? So the post went like this:

 I'm a fun, loving, cool, friendly person. I love to laugh, go out to eat, for drinks, spa, shopping, etc. Looking for someone with similar interests. I've been on a fitness journey since January I'm not trying to be skinny just trying to be fit!!! I'm married, I have 3 kids, I run a home based baking business so I'm free most days early mornings and some evenings. I'm serious about the shows I watch like The Walking Dead, criminal minds, NCIS, The Big bang theory, LHHNY, Law & Order to name a few. If you find me interesting hit me up. Ladies only!!! I'm looking for someone who has time and shows that they are willing to put the work into building an amazing friendship via texting, phone calls, being able to hangout even if that mean just chillen in the house watching movies etc. If you can't commit to that then there is no need to waste either of our times... 

The responses were interesting to say the least.... I believe I was very specific in what I was seeking in a friend so If you don't meet the requirements then you shouldn't respond that was furthest from the case. At this point in my life I do not have time to play games, I know what I do and don't want and I want that to be respected. I know people are in different places in their lives but..... I've met 3 very cool people thus far.

As an adult how do you meet new people without it being awkward?
What do you look for in a friend?
At this age what are you not accepting? 

And The Award Goes To......

So when I became a mother 13 years ago, oh gosh has it been that long???? I did not plan on being a single mom not by a long shot, but when you have a baby as a teenager it's pretty much a given. I did the best I could with what I had, and by no means was it easy. Parenting is not for the faint of heart especially not a teen mom.... I had a pretty good support system but it was my responsibility solely even though I didn't create her alone... So now 3 kids later ( what was I thinking?) My sole goal in life is to give them the best life possible. But what does that actually mean? To me that meant to go above and beyond for my children. Over the top birthday's, crazy Christmas traditions, random outings, gifts just because, d.i.y projects, etc. (yeah I'm that mom!) In the mist of all this I did not know that I was creating entitled little brats!!! These kids literally do not know what it is to be without anything... Right now my boys biggest issue is I haven't gotten their iPads fixed ugh!!! And the teenager doesn't have the latest whatever she thinks is trendy at the moment. My husband has afforded us a "comfortable" lifestyle if that's what you want to call it. I get the "luxury" of being able to be home with these crazy kids. People frown and question why I do things the way I do them, this is my house my rules point, blank, simple.... I don't question anyone's parenting style, what works in your household is for your family and vice versa... Where do people get the BALLS to be able to open their mouth and question something that does not concern them in any way shape or form? I am a BAD MOM because I SPOIL MY KIDS TOO MUCH!!! WHAT MAKES YOU A BAD MOM?

FEELING: AN EMOTIONAL STATE OR REACTION

Upon getting married you believe without a doubt that the person you are marrying is your best friend, your confidant, your soulmate, the one person who knows you inside and out and accepts you without judgement. What happens after 8 years of being together and 5 years of marriage you realize your not the same person you were before, and your not quite sure who that person was and how did they get here to the current time. Prior to marriage I was a free spirit that sounds better than any other words I could come up with lol. The idea of marriage never crossed my mind, and at the time I didn't believe I was worthy of such a thing. Then I met my now husband and our beginning interactions were very awkward and didn't prove to be going anywhere fast.... As I got to know him I realized his thought pattern was different from anyone I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He use to always joke that he couldn't be with someone like me because I was a "free spirit" but as we hung out more and more we became quite fond of each other. Being in his life was a different experience nothing I had ever experience before, and I liked it but I didn't know how to "act" there was a lot I didn't know, so I did a crash course and molded myself in what I believed he wanted me to be to fit into his world something he never asked me to do by the way. It was something I was use to doing, and by me doing that so often I had no clue to who I really was. Skip ahead to the current year. I started a fitness journey in January something else that never crossed my mind. As I started to lose the weight a lot changed. I became more confident, more out spoken. Instead of hiding in the shadows I wanted to be seen. This person I was becoming took the world by storm as my body started to transform, so did my mind. Things I didn't want before I now want and vice versa. In the mist of all this you have my poor husband who was use to his simple wife, and his simple life trying to figure out what happened??? And I can't quite explain it but I want him to just be on board!!! I scream MY FEELINGS, MY FEELINGS all day long and never once stopped to consider his feelings in this whole transformation. Don't tell him I'm admitting this he will never let me live this down!!! How do we get back on the same page without me having to regress?

Hey everyone I am back!!!
Update: I have a successful home based baking business Purplelicious Treats  www.purplelicioustreats.com, I've been on a fitness journey for the past 11 months lost 38lbs total, I've become a Beach Body Coach helping others get started on their journey, I am learning and growing everyday..... Now for these kids.... 


 I try really hard to be not just a good mom, but a great mom. These kids make you question everything. I try really hard to be strong and hold it together, but its 3 of them and 1 of me... I try not to let to much get to me buts its so very hard. I feel my sanity slowly slipping away. My choice to stay home was to insure them that I would always be there, to help with homework, listen to their days, cook for them, drs appts, football games, girl scout events, cooking classes, assemblies, parent teacher conferences, just being present in their lives day in and day out. Somewhere along the lines they made something so joyous an out right nightmare!!! I didn't know 3 kids that you birthed, nursed, changed diapers, nurtured & care for unconditionally could make me cry.... At first it felt like weakness, but after the tears dried I felt it was necessary for them to see & know that their actions have consequences, and that what they do and how they behave affects me in a big way... IS IT TO LATE TO SEND THEM BACK???? Pray for me please!

Before I was a mom!

Before I was a Mom -I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday. 

Before I was a Mom -I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations. 

Before I was a Mom -I had never been puked on - Pooped on - Spit on - Chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. 

Before I was a Mom -I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. 

Before I was a Mom -I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important. 

Before I was a Mom -I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom. And remember that behind every successful woman......is a basket of dirty laundry!.

10 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE DAILY

By Sarah Brooks

Let me ask you a question. Have you noticed that when you're happy in your relationship with your spouse, you tend to be happier with your job, kids, social life and everything else life throws your way? Most likely, your answer is “yes,” and that's because when you start making your marriage a priority, you begin to develop a “we're in this together” attitude and life in general just seems easier. After all, isn't anything easier if you have someone you love and trust to go through it with? Let's take a look at 10 unique ways to improve your marriage daily. We promise it will be more than worth it.

1 Wake up early together

Set your alarm 10 minutes before you need to get up to spend some quality time with your spouse. Have a cup of coffee together, discuss the morning news or simply stay in bed and cuddle. Those precious 10 minutes of alone time in the morning will set the tone for your day. Plus, what's the difference if you get up at 5:45 a.m. or 5:35 a.m. anyways?

2 Kiss instead of peck

You and your husband are probably in the habit of pecking goodbye each morning before work and pecking once again when you see each other in the evening. Tonight, when your husband comes home, surprise him with a long, passionate kiss. It doesn't have to be a full-on make out session — a simple five extra seconds will work just fine.

3 Show affection when out in public

Remember back when you were dating and you couldn't keep your hands off each other? Now it seems whenever you run an errand together you're more focused on the errand than each other. Next time you're out together — whether at the grocery store or picking up dry cleaning — hold your spouse's hand. Take a moment to hug each other, even if it's in the middle of the pasta aisle at the store.

4 Consciously give your spouse your “best”

Let's face it — by the end of the day, you're exhausted. You've given your all to your kids, your job, your chores and dinner, but what about your husband? Consciously make an effort to give him your “best” each and every day. Of all the people in your life, he deserves it the most.

5 Shower together

Taking a shower with your loved one is a great — and quick — way to get some alone time. It doesn't have to lead to sex and it doesn't have to be planned, just hop in! Your husband will love the spontaneity and it's certain to bring you closer on a daily basis.

6 Read together

Reading for just 10 minutes per day with your spouse will increase communication and help you form a deeper bond. We suggest reading a book meant for couples, such as Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages. You can read early in the morning, before bed or out back on the patio — just make sure it happens.

7 Talk

This one seems easy, but when was the last time you actually asked your spouse how their day was or what they'd like to do? Make it a goal to ask your spouse daily how they're doing and if they need anything from you.

8 Encourage your spouse

Did your spouse have a bad day? Encourage him and show him that you appreciate him and all that he does for you and your family. A little appreciation goes a long way.

9 Play games together

Make it a priority to continue having fun with your spouse. Play board games over a bottle of wine, have a movie night with popcorn and root beer floats or drive around neighborhoods searching for your dream home. Keep your relationship fun and light-hearted — it helps you enjoy each other more!

10 Say "I love you"

Love is a choice, a decision and a commitment. You're not going to feel head-over-heels in love with your spouse every day, but by telling your spouse you love him daily, you're reminding the both of you that it's a conscious decision that you're choosing to make. Write it on your bathroom mirror, call him, text him or even post it on his Facebook wall — just say it!

Parents failed marriage affecting your marriage!

As a child you watch your parents relationship, and invision what you want your own relationship to be like. Daughter's look to their father to show them what they want in their husband: a hard worker, strong, family oriented, a provider, loving, sympathetic, just to name a few. A son looks to his mother to show him what to look for in a wife: loving, caring, kind, understanding, well rounded, smart, classy, and also strong. What happens when this relationship you've watched so closely comes to an end? How do you move forward? Does your views on relationships change?  What if your grown in your own marriage with kids and you've based your marriage on what you saw to be the "right" way as you were shown? Where do you go from there?