Same page parenting

A parenting tool that I feel very strongly about today, is same page parenting even if both parents aren't under the same roof, parents still need to be on the same page and work together for the sake of their child/children, it is so important that both parents try to form a united front. It takes two parents to bring children into this world, and in most cases, it takes two parents to raise a child who is well balanced. Same page parenting prevents the chain from snapping and sends a clear message to your child that rules and boundaries are to be respected and obeyed.

Have Your Children Interrupted Your Marriage

by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter- I hold many titles in my life; daughter, sister, friend, spouse, employee, and mother. Each of these roles carry a different level of responsibility. There might be serious consequences if I neglect either one. But for me, none of those other headings mattered as much the moment I became a mother.Anyone who has been blessed by parenthood knows the event is like no other. Nothing else compares to the degree of love you feel. My journey to motherhood was nothing I ever experienced before. As a result, I placed a lot of focus and energy into being a mom. This was the one job I didn’t want to get wrong. Normally when one area becomes the priority everything else takes a back seat. This happened in my marriage.Unfortunately, most married couples encounter this challenge after they become parents. It makes sense. Children can’t raise themselves. They rely solely on us to provide for them. Meanwhile, we let the other adult in our relationship fend for themselves. We assume they understand and feel the same way we do in terms of being a parent. But the needs our spouse had before children haven’t disappeared. And sometimes they have some of the same requests our children have.Just like our babies, our spouses crave attention. They want to be listened to and believe they matter to us. When they share how they feel or what happened during their day it is our job to provide our undivided attention.Making time for our children reinforces the idea that they are important. We are creating memories that will remain with them for a lifetime. It is imperative our children never feel neglected. Again, same is true for our mates. They also desire special quality time. Making sure time is carved out exclusively for our mate is necessary. In order to do this we sometimes have to ask for help whenever we feel overwhelmed.Simply saying how much we love our children isn’t as effective as showing them. Frequent hugs and kisses reassures our little ones of just how much they are loved.Affection is also important to our spouses. Even when we get busy raising our families, staying connected as husband and wife is critical.We are responsible for providing our children with love, guidance, and support. Just as we chose to be parents and were aware of the obligations that came along with the title, we also chose to be a spouse. There are certain duties we can’t neglect. Yes, children change the dynamic of a relationship but they shouldn’t interrupt our marriage. It is each partner’s responsibility to maintain a healthy relationship. We must balance parenthood while maintaining a healthy love life.

Home sweet home

So since I've last written I got married, added a new edition to the family so now there's Imani 9 Rashaud 3 and Isaiah 5 months so I have my hands full now. My family expects a lot from me and I must live up to their expectations which sometimes feels impossible, but this is the life I choose and although its stressful at times I wouldn't give it up for the world I love my husband and my children they are my whole world and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them!

Motherhood

Motherhood, a job that has no union, salary, or time off. From day one, you're on the job full force. Whether you perform at your best your still a mother 24/7 365, 366 on a leap year. You are expected to know all the answers, kiss all the boo boos, teach all that you know, be an ATM, read to them, sometimes be a father too. Lose sleep when they're sick. Solve their problems and raise their self-esteem. You're also expected to nourish and raise them. The only benefits that you get if you're lucky; is an occasional "Mom, I love you" or a mother's day card. I applied for this job 9 years ago, and it hasn't gotten easier, but crazy me for loving my job. Silly me for being the best employee. 

25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9 (By Parents.com)

Manner #1

When asking for something, say "Please."

Manner #2

When receiving something, say "Thank you."


Manner #3

Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

Manner #4

If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

Manner #5

When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

Manner #6

The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

Manner #7

Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.

Manner #8

When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

Manner #9

When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

Manner #10

Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.

Manner #11

When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

Manner #12

Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.


Manner #13

Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

Manner #14

Don't call people mean names.

Manner #15

Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

Manner #16

Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

Manner #17

If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me.

Manner #18

Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.


Manner #19

As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

Manner #20

If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.

Manner #21

When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.


Manner #22

When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!

Manner #23

Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.


Manner #24

Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

Manner #25

Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed

Full time parent & Full time employee where's the balance?

I started back working December 2010 after being out of work for almost 2 years and it took a lot of adjusting yet I kept at it and I'm doing better at it today. First of all there are not enough hours in the day!!! Taking kids to school and day care then getting up enough strength to get yourself to your destination is a bit much! Then you get off of work you may or may not have to pick the kids up depending on dads schedule. You have to cook dinner, help kids with homework, entertain baby, find out how everyone's day was, make sure everyone eats, make sure they are bathed, and in bed. When its all said and done you only have enough strength to get you in the bed and then you wake up to do it all over again!! Where's the time for you? Where's the time for your spouse? How can this be a successful situation? Any suggestions I would love to know your opinions!

Becoming a Stepparent

Becoming a parent by blending families or marrying someone with kids can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience. If you've never had kids, you'll get the opportunity to share your life with a younger person and help to shape his or her character. If you have kids, you'll offer them more opportunities to build relationships and establish a special bond that only siblings can have.

In some cases, your new family members may get along without a hitch (remember The Brady Bunch?), but other times you can expect difficulties along the way. Figuring out your role as a parent — aside from the day-to-day responsibilities that come with it — also may lead to confusion or even conflict between you and your partner, your partner's ex-wife or ex-husband, and their kids.

While there is no foolproof formula for creating the"perfect" family (every family has its own dynamics), it's important to approach this new situation with patience and understanding for the feelings of those involved. Suggestions below also may help to make things easier as you adapt to your new role.

Start Slow

The initial role of a stepparent is that of another caring adult in a child's life, similar to a loving family member or mentor. You may desire a closer bond right away, and might wonder what you're doing wrong if your new stepchild doesn't warm up to you or your kids as quickly as you'd like — but relationships need time to grow.

Start out slow and try not to rush into things. Let things develop naturally — kids can tell when adults are being fake or insincere. Over time, you can develop a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your stepchildren, which doesn't necessarily have to resemble the one they share with their birth parents.

Factors That Affect Your Relationship

Children who are mourning the loss of a deceased parent or the separation or divorce of their birth 

parents may need time to heal before they can fully accept you as a new parent.

For those whose birth parents are still alive, remarriage may mean the end of hope that their parents 

will reunite. Even if it has been several years since the separation, kids (even grown ones!) often hang 

onto that hope for a long time. From a child's perspective, this reality can make them feel angry, hurt, 

and confused.